I was struggling with whether to tell people who don't already know, but decided that this is too important to let it slide. There are 2 important messages that I want everyone close to me to consider... but first, let me explain what happened.
This weekend, we had an incident with our little baby Khaleesia. In short, we almost lost her. For real!
All the kids have been quite sick, with a high temperature, snotty noses, lots of phlegm, and moving into a bit of a cough. We had been preparing for Juliette's party which was on Saturday, and were in and out of the house as we were setting things up. Khaleesia was lying on the lounge, mostly sleeping.
As I was walking inside, Juliette started yelling at me to come and look because Khaleesia is being "funny". Her words. I looked at Khaleesia who was spread out on the pillow, convulsing, her mouth and nose covered in saliva.
Time slowed...
Snatching her up in my arms, I turn her upside down in my arms, checking her mouth to see if there is anything blocking her airways as I headed outside. Yelling to Angela to ring the ambulance, I place her on the table, her lips are already blue.
I have to force my fingers in her mouth, her jaw is clenched tight. Opening her mouth, I find nothing stuck in the back of her throat. Her teeth are clenched on my fingers, her throat sealed tight. Tilting her head back, I started resuscitation. This was nothing like Resuscitation Annie, her face is covered with spew or phlegm or whatever, her head is slick with sweat and I cannot get a grip on anything. I blow, but I can't not get any air into her at all. It is like trying to blow a balloon and holding the stem shut. I try again, pushing her mouth open with mine. I try again, this time pushing a finger between her teeth to hold it open, and this time, it feels like a little air went in, but my lips are sliding all over her. Again, and this time, I can feel air and more fluids come out of her nose.
Flashes come to me of training years ago, a life time ago, having to pinch the nose, or for small kids, put my over the top of the mouth and nose combined. My fingers are busy holding her teeth open so I try covering her nose with my mouth. Blow. Blow. It feels useless as I just can’t get a seal. It’s like trying to blow 2 balloons up at the same time.
Her face is turning blue too now and her teeth aren't clamping down on me at all, she’s totally limp in my arms. Oh god! Taking my fingers from her mouth, I pushed her head back and held her nose with my left hand. Blow. Some air goes in. Blow. A bit more, but still not enough to make her chest rise. Blow. Something gives, and this time her chest rises... Lots! I’m frightened I’ve blown too hard. Softer this time… blow. Again, I see and feel movement in her chest. I somehow think to count to 5 breaths, I don’t know if that’s for kids or adults, but I roll her over to the recovery position to see if she is breathing by herself and check her. I can hear that Angela has gotten through the paramedics now, but in my mind, it occurs to me that they can’t get here in time. He face is still blue, I can’t see any movement. Fear washes over me.
I start the process again, still on her side this time, and her throat is closed again. Blow… Nothing. I adjust her again. Blow. Nothing. Adjust again. Blow, and this time a bit of air goes in. Blow. Some more. At this point, I can hear people around me again, Angela’s mum, Maxine, is encouraging me to keep going, and Angela on the phone. Blow… blow… blow… I stop and check to see if she’s breathing again. No. Despair is washing over me again. Blow. Blow. A billion thoughts are going through my mind. Blow. Where was I at? I had lost count. Focus I tell myself as I hear Maxine tell me to keep going till the ambulance arrives. Blow. How fast should I go? Blow. What am I doing wrong, am I forgetting anything? Blow. Is her chest rising enough, or too much? Blow…
Then… I think I hear a cough!
One last blow and I turn her to the side. I hear another quiet splutter. I notice a small piece of a chewed jelly baby on the table in a pool of phlegm under where her mouth is. Then, very quietly, I can hear her moan, very quietly. I look at her again; colour is back in her face. Her body still limp, but definitely breathing by herself. Then a cry. I almost cry then, it’s the most amazing feeling as she starts to cry a little. Crying is good we remind her.
Time returns to normal speed.
People are around, and Angela is on the phone to the paramedics still, and they need to know the cross street. I have no idea as we just moved here, so we send someone out to wait. I ask if I can sit her up, and they say that’s a good idea if she’s breathing. She is still totally limp in my arms, but she is awake, crying, and pink.
Not long after, it seems to take forever, the paramedics arrive. They are calm, too calm, asking questions, taking her temperature, checking her out. Her temperature under her arm is 39, but her core temperature is 40.1 degrees. It’s not long till we’re on our way to the hospital, the same hospital where her two baby sisters are.
Reflecting on the situation with the doctors, there were some open questions. Did she choke, or was it a temperature related seizure? We don’t know for sure, and it could be one or the other or it could very well have been both. Once her temperature was under control, and the doctors were ok that she was drinking again (she loved the ice block), we were right to go home.
That night, Angela and I had a chance visit the two babies in the same hospital I had spent the day with Khaleesia at. We had some time to contemplate and talk about things that happened that day.
Two things stand out:
1. Resuscitation training.
Angela hasn't done it before, and it’s clear we both need to do it. I am sure I made mistakes, could have done things better. I might have remembered enough to get lucky this time, but I'm not going to take the chance that if there is another situation, I may not be so lucky or I may waste precious time thinking back on stuff I did over a decade and a half ago. It never even entered my mind before to refresh this sort of stuff before, it has now. I'm hoping by reading this, it might enter your mind too. The nurses at RPA said they run a course, and I'm sure that there are plenty of other places. Especially if you have kids, book this in now.
http://www.royallifesaving.com.au/training/resuscitation
http://www.stjohn.org.au/
2. Fragility of life.
This is something “other people” always say, but it has never been so clear. One moment, we were preparing for a 3 year old’s birthday party, and the next, our other daughter was fighting for her life. I can’t explain how lucky we both feel. Every “if” scenario there possibly could be, has been going through our minds, and with each and every one of them, I am reminded how important these little girls are to us, all 5 of them. They must already be sick of the extra kisses and cuddles they are getting at the moment.
Sunday was father’s day. We took the opportunity to ride bikes down to the park while Angela was with Chantelle at her Ballet exam, and while I was walking, holding on to my little girls hand, it was surreal to think of what had happened in the last 24 hours, and how important these moments in our lives are.
